Sakura-Con 2015 ‒ Day 1 ‒ Friday

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.


These memories are a couple weeks old now, so I’d better get them written before the only thing I remember is puddi’s sweet… voice.

Day 0 ‒ Thursday:



9:00 We rolled on down to the lobby to meet up with Boomer and his pals for breakfast.

At puddi’s suggestion, we went to the Frottage Bay Cafe, which required passage through the sketchiest alleyways and abandoned buildings Seattle could throw at us. Somehow found ourselves at a decent-looking establishment at the end of it all.

As for the quality of the food, I gotta be real — for my eggs benedict the English muffins overpowered the limp prosciutto, and the hollandaise sauce was as banal as that yellow chick from DanMachi’s personality. In essence:

Erina Arouses Mine Tho

Everyone else seemed to enjoy their meal though.


10:15 Buyfaggery

We went to the dealer’s room to grab some lanyards cuz we heard they were being sold there, and we weren’t about to clip our badges for the entire con. But as we searched for the lanyards, my eyes caught the PonyCan and Sekai Project’s booths, and, well…

If you want the denkigai shit just let me know I'll give it to you at a killer fucking bargain

$300 gone in an instant. Also we didn’t find any lanyards for the entirety of the con.


10:45 Karaoke (is not consent)

Friday morning karaoke was as entertaining as we had been groomed to expect from last year’s Aizen-kun. Walking up to the karaoke room was an experience as we noticed a few people covering their ears from the shrill sound of a Vocaloid song. (My ears haven’t stopped bleeding, so I think I’m gonna get that checked out after a few more days.)

I’d show you video of the event that awaited us inside, but I felt bad about filming without the singer’s explicit permission so I deleted it in a fit of SJW madness.

[21:36] <Switch-kun> when did you become some kind of cock sucking social justice warrior, huh?

I guess a couple weeks ago. Welcome to the hugbox, everyone.


11:30 PonyCan USA Industry Panel


Normally I skip industry panels, but felt obligated to go to this one cuz I bought out their booth earlier.

The main thing I got out of the panel was that PonyCanyon’s US branch is gung-ho about capturing their own share of the US market, which is bad news for Funi (and good news for humanity). Also had it drilled further into my head that anime fans have infinite capacity to fail at interacting with other humans. Industry panels should really learn to cut out the q&a portion.


12:00 I dunno what happened here. I think it was just a bunch of walkcon.


3:00 Karaoke Idol Prelims

Actually had my Haruka Terui autograph scheduled for this time (exclusively limited to people who bought the Yuki Yuna LE at Sakura-Con), but ended up having to ditch for the idol prelims. Never been too much a fan of celebrities beyond those I see in the mirror.

Humans are more interesting anyways.
Humans are more interesting anyways.


Here are some of the awards I took it upon myself to give out:

Best Legs


Best Dressed


Best Use of Ritalin in a Song

Videos for the (30) contestants +the finals are on my Youtubs channel if you have an hour to waste. I don’t recommend it.


6:45 Anime Twitter Panel

Having no idea how well this panel would go, Boomer and I head in.

First thing we see is twit deck posted on the screen. And that was also the last thing we saw, cuz that WAS the panel.

Twat Deck
It wouldn’t be a fair depiction of the experience without the eye-killing blur.

Panelists told us to tweet with #animetwitter so it would show on the screen and then… yeah, that was it. I suppose it sounded better in their heads.

The only thing that made it even worse was Rekyu had a fantastic time at HIS panel, which made me super jelly. Never fear; you’ll get to hear all about it when puddi and Rekyu finish up their “convention intervention flower showdown” post (ETA: soon™).


8:00 Chill

We tried to get Rekyu to walk around the con without his shirt and say he was cosplaying as Free (which is what all the other Free cosplayers do), but he was having none of it. Everyone was secretly visibly disappointed, cuz Rekyu’s spicy hot. I mean, legit, chicks were taking pictures of him and he wasn’t even cosplaying anything.

Other than sexual tension, nothing else was going on, so we went back into the abyss for panels and whatnot.


8:45 Anime Showcase of 2014

I went to this last year, so I had an inkling of how it would be (terrible). Basically, two random panelists went over the anime they watched in 2014 and tried to explain which ones were worth watching.

Solid premise for a panel, except they admittedly hadn’t seen everything they were recommending, and for the most part just read off Wikipedia summaries.

Who does that?

One presenter was really genki about his shit, but had no idea what he was talking about, so the cringe built up to unbearable levels. I guess the highlight of the panel was when genki-kun started off his recommendation with “Needless to say…” and without skipping a beat some guy responded “Then don’t say it”.

Let’s just summarize the panel by the ending, where they recommended Mekakucity Actors and then asked the audience “Should we watch this?”



10:00 Rave

Rekyu had never been to a rave, so we had to take him into Sakura-Con’s (which is the best rave I’ve been to at any con).

Regardless of how good a rave is though, if you’re out of high school, you’re probably too old to stay there long enough to drown in sweat. We left pretty quickly.


10:30 Chill

Invited my boy Inushinde up to our room and drank some tequila and rum to get in the right mindset for nightcon. Then we got lazy and didn’t do anything for a while.


12:00 Waifuism and You

So Waifu
You know she’s the best, don’t deny it.

This was being run by the guys who did the panel Rekyu really liked, so we were all pretty hyped. Too bad it didn’t live up to the love.

As you’ve probably already inferred, it was just a bunch of stereotypical otaku yelling about what their waifus and husbandos were. One guy in particular stood out: Dude was wearing a shirt covered entirely in headshots of Louise from Zero no Tsukaima. I think one of the guys grabbed a pic of it, so look to the comments section for that.


12:15 Back to the pile

There wasn’t anything else going on, so we went back to the room to sleep as puddi and Rekyu had to be up early in the morning to subtitle Plastic Memories.

As for that call…

Plastic Bananarama

…but we’ll get into that in the Saturday write-up, coming sometime 2016. (The con was fabulous BTW.)

27 thoughts on “Sakura-Con 2015 ‒ Day 1 ‒ Friday”

            • Okay then, Strunk. Preach your increasingly irrelevant prescriptivist pedantry to whoever is foolish enough to care for obsolete and erroneous grammatical “rules”.

              • Oh man, I should put things in quotation marks; it automatically invalidates them!

                I hope you enjoy your ”face” and “worthwhile existence”.

                • Lol, you enjoy fretting about ending sentences in prepositions, dangling participles, the long-dead distinction between who and whom and all the other “rules” no-one but pompous twats see fit to abide by, and I’ll just be talking like a normal person, laughing to myself at your sad attempts at putting on airs ;)

                  All joking aside, no linguist takes prescriptivism seriously in this day and age. You are fighting a losing battle against the inevitability of language change. But grammarians are nothing if not stubborn, I suppose…

                  • Can you imagine someone in total earnest linking to an image of an anime high school girl doing an ojou-sama laugh? As in, “This is how I want to portray my reaction, and this is not at all in jest.” Dude, it might as well have been a guy in a monocle.

                    • I know man, just a bit of banter. I’m pretty bad at the whole humour and sarcasm business, as you might expect from the kind of person interested in this shit.

                    • As one considering himself to be “interested in this shit”, I’d expect an all-powerful insight, overwhelming physical and psychosexual presence and voice smoother and deeper than James Earl Jones, but that could just be I.

  1. >except they admittedly hadn’t seen everything they were recommending, and for the most part just read off Wikipedia summaries
    How does this happen? They should have been booed until they cried.

    • 75% of any panel’s audience would stay put for a panel that consists of someone farting into a microphone for an hour, that’s how.


Leave a Comment