Grand Prix Atlanta 2015: Tourney Report

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.


I’m sure you care about Magic the Gathering as much as I do, so have a comprehensive tournament report from this weekend’s GP.




Traipsed on over to the Atlanta airport to meet up with everyone’s favorite slam jammer: puddi. After his “on-time” flight came in an hour late, we looked to make the time up by bouncing ASAP.

I suggested we take the metro, but puddi countered with the sage observation that we weren’t actually poor, so we took an Uber over to our hotel instead.

Easy riding~
Easy riding~

With me having been up since 4:30, and puddi operating on only 2 hours of sleep, we were famished to the point that going to a Korean deli for breakfast seemed like a good idea.

Did I mention how hungry we were?
Did I mention how hungry we were?

We consumed our omelets & pancakes with Korean chopsticks — as is tradition — and headed on back to our hotel to get ready for the rest of the day.

Try not to be too jelly~
An accurate re-enactment. Try not to be too jelly of puddi.






Looking for a shortcut back to our hotel from the convention center, we came across an intriguing set of unmarked doors. Opening them resulted in a view of nothing but a gigantic, empty loading dock.

One of the pathways the dock presented us with.

Not ones to decline an opportunity for adventure, we set off on a foray back to our lodgings that took us in and out of places that likely hadn’t been occupied by normal humans for some time.

Somehow we didn't die.
Pretty reasonable to make the assumption one of these pillars was housing an axe murderer.

Managing to escape the deserted maze with our lives — and most of our sanity — intact, we found ourselves back in what passes for civilization in Atlanta.

It's called Five Points for a reason.
They call the area “Five Points” for a reason.

With the adventure taking much longer than a shortcut should, and finding ourselves hungry for something edible, we made our way to a nearby BBQ joint. And while gazing at the menu, one hundred-dollar choice stuck out to us.

They said it was six
They said this was enough for six people, but puddi and I dared to disagree.

After 30 minutes of what we came to realize may have been a mistake, we decided to phone a local fansubber for assistance.

Via Twitter, of course. This is 2015, after all.
Via Twitter, I mean. This is 2015, after all.

With the recruiting technique of Ash Ketchum, puddi managed to sway Fomalhaut to come down and support our cause.

Under the guise of generosity, we were able to bully Fomal into polishing off the cold, half-eaten smorgasbord of meat, which he admirably accomplished (with the help of a to-go box). Our membership in the clean-plate club preserved, puddi and I said our farewells to Fomals-chan and tucked in for the night.

If you know what I mean.
If you know what I mean.








After a rather long day of whatever, we went to an Attack on Titan-themed restaurant for supper. I warned puddi it was about as LQ as the chibi spin-off, but everything else was closed so our choices were rather limited.

I had the Reinerrouladen and puddi snapped up the Eren Jaegerschnitzel. We had some dessert and an appetizer too, but I can’t be bothered to come up with puns for those.

Can’t deny we shared, though~

Over the course of the meal, we flipped over the shows that would be airing next season, just to see if we could justify remaining anime fans.

Is it too late to change fandoms?
Is it too late to change fandoms?

Our hopes entirely dashed, we retired to the hotel to come up with a way to save the scene, but ended up crashing for the night instead. RIP anime, you had a good run.








Hit up Johnny Rockets early in the night to redeem the meme.

We got there.
We got there this time.

After filling our stomachs, we decided to fill our hearts. And so we went back to the hotel for a much-needed marathon of Valkyrie Drive.

We made the necessary arrangements.
We made the necessary arrangements.
And a view from my side.
Worked pretty fucking well.

After puddi and I finished, I was informed “it’s not gay if you watch sports afterwards”. And so began my introduction into football.

Go team. Or whatever.
Yay, teams. Or whatever.

Gotta tell ya, if Eyeshield 21’s eye candy couldn’t get me to care about football, not even the concept of watching mentally retarded, steroid-abusing millionaires fail at moving an object from Point A to Point B for four fucking hours was gonna change my mind.

Well worth the eye diabetes.
Enjoy the eye diabetes. She’s about the only good thing to come out of the sport.





Waking up early, we packed our bags and prepared ourselves for our return to the shackles of society.

Yet as puddi and I were parted by the inevitable tides of fate, we solemnly vowed to make our next joining even more notable than ever before.

But do not cry. For it is only with sorrow that we can know joy.
“But do not cry. For it is only with sorrow that we can know joy.” – Kirito-san, Sword Art Online



In Summation

Had a good enough time with puddi that though I despise Magic and its player base, I’ll quite likely be hitting up GP Vancouver in November with him and my boy shcboomer. So look for another solid tourney report around that time.

Guess we’ll find out if I’m still banned from that steak joint…

#GPVancouver #GetHype
#3Boys1Couch #GPVancouver #GetHype

18 thoughts on “Grand Prix Atlanta 2015: Tourney Report”

    • Four people with a solid appetite would walk away fully satisfied — you underestimate the power of meat. As for the price… we were at a midrange BBQ joint, not a taco bell. (Also it was after tip and tax.)

      If you make it down to Atlanta, I’ll buy you the platter and if you can finish it yourself I’ll give you a benji (which sounds a lot like a blowjob, but I emphatically promise will not be).


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