Officialsubs Review: [Funimation] Kuma Miko – Girl Meets Bear (Episode 01)

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.


This show is so fucking cute I grew a uterus and considered posting on tumblr unironically.


Table of Contents

Release Information

Visual Quality

Script Quality





Release Information


Spoiler for

Episode details.

Release format: 1080p MKV (735 MB, 8-bit), 720p MKV (432 MB, 8-bit), 480p MKV (194 MB, 8-bit)

Japanesiness: No honorifics. Western name order. In a show about a shrine maiden who lives in the mountains of rural Japan. Fucking what, Funimation?

English style: American English.

Encoding details:

Speed: Simulcast.



Visual Review


Spoiler for



[HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_02.57_[2016.04.11_09.16.14]

Rating: Pass, for a Funimation effort. I’d throw in a webm, but you deserve better for this kinda show.



[HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_23.03_[2016.04.11_14.41.11]

Rating: As long as an official release translates the OP/ED, and it’s legible, it’ll get a pass. Maybe one day I’ll be able to hold ’em to the same standards as fansubs, but I doubt Funimation will reach that point before going bankrupt.




[HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_01.05_[2016.04.11_09.13.25] [HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_01.24_[2016.04.11_09.13.49] [HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_01.50_[2016.04.11_09.14.51] [HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_04.13_[2016.04.11_09.21.53] [HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_04.19_[2016.04.11_10.09.08] [HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_04.36_[2016.04.11_10.09.31] [HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_04.46_[2016.04.11_10.10.31] [HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_05.17_[2016.04.11_10.11.47] [HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_05.45_[2016.04.11_10.12.21] [HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_06.04_[2016.04.11_10.13.06] [HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_06.11_[2016.04.11_10.13.22] [HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_09.06_[2016.04.11_10.27.46] [HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_09.51_[2016.04.11_10.28.59] [HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_09.54_[2016.04.11_10.29.06] [HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_09.56_[2016.04.11_10.29.11] [HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_09.57_[2016.04.11_10.29.15] [HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_13.03_[2016.04.11_13.12.14] [HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_13.38_[2016.04.11_13.14.18] [HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_14.25_[2016.04.11_13.15.50] [HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_15.23_[2016.04.11_13.17.16] [HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_16.05_[2016.04.11_13.52.51] [HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_17.18_[2016.04.11_13.56.19] [HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_22.33_[2016.04.11_14.05.54] [HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_24.04_[2016.04.11_14.07.31] [HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_24.21_[2016.04.11_14.08.07] [HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_24.27_[2016.04.11_14.08.58]

Yeah, it’s a Funimation release.




[HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_00.35_[2016.04.11_09.09.10]

I’d be glad to, but it gets kind of difficult when I have to sit through 35 seconds of credit bullshit on every fucking Funicast.

I mean, yeah, I could skip past it, but then I wouldn’t be able to complain. Asshole anime subtitle critics gotta eat too.

[HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_17.31_[2016.04.11_13.56.46]

Fucking. Christ.

Continuing with the theme of being stuck in the last millennium as far as visuals go, Funimation refuses to let up on their line separation standards.

Listen, you stupid fucks, a double-dash is meant to be a stand-in for an en-dash. If the program you’re typing the script in (it must be more antiquated than Notepad) doesn’t have auto-formatting, you’re meant to go back and change it when you’re done. Viewers are not supposed to be doing the conversions themselves.



Script Review


Spoiler for


[HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_03.02_[2016.04.11_09.16.54]



Main Script.

[HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_04.16_[2016.04.11_15.23.36]

>italicizing “foreign” words

>not realizing this is [current_year]

Funi, do we need to get a John Oliver segment on this shit? Cuz I’m sure he’d be keen to learn of your organization’s involvement with a certain Santorum.


[HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_05.39_[2016.04.11_15.26.37]

The two syllables were heavily emphasized. This should be “No way!”


[HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_06.08_[2016.04.11_10.13.15]


I hate you, Funimation.


[HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_06.16_[2016.04.11_10.20.36] [HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_06.18_[2016.04.11_10.20.42]

Not really “go to”, so much as “thrive in”.


[HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_06.56_[2016.04.11_10.25.29] [HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_06.59_[2016.04.11_10.25.20]

“Shops that are never open.”//”Heck, the convenience store isn’t even 24/7.”

I can tolerate you fucking up dialogue for lesser characters, Funi. But not Machi. Not when she’s complaining. Cuz that just hurts. ;_;


[HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_08.58_[2016.04.11_15.42.43]

Never heard of a hasty conclusion. I have heard of a hostess conclusion, but that usually happens when you’re drunk and the convenience store is selling beef jerky for 9-fucking-dollars, yet their Twinkies are only 50 cents a piece.

(This is technically valid, but “hasty decision” is the preferred term.)


[HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_12.56_[2016.04.11_13.12.35]

“shigoto shigoto” = “A job’s a job.”

It’s not often an idiom directly translates into another, but when it happens you can be sure Funimation will fuck it up.


[HorribleSubs] Kuma Miko - 01 [720p].mkv_snapshot_14.09_[2016.04.11_15.51.57]

“the bears are practically your neighbors.”

Next time read the show’s premise before translating it.



That fucking face, tho


Spoiler for


O Lord, have I sinned this day.





Watchability: Watchable.

Overall grade: Pass.

This gets there. Funimation clearly put their good team on this show. (Hopefully they lost enough simulcast licenses this season that they won’t need to outsource anything to their B-team, but I’m not optimistic.)

Going into my Chyuu review (whenever I get around to that), keep in mind I’m gonna be pretty biased toward their release from the onset. Kuma Miko’s the kind of show you don’t need to keep up with week after week, and it will greatly benefit from the typesetting & karaoke that only fansubs can provide. The screenshot below just feels right, doesn’t it?

[Chyuu] Kuma Miko - Girl Meets Bear - 01 [720p][4AC1B59C].mkv_snapshot_23.29_[2016.04.11_14.17.22]

Still, nobody gets a free pass on Crymore, so I’ll be putting them through the rigamarole in episode 2 (or whatever I end up looking at). Just be aware they’d have to really fuck up for this to even be a close contest.


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19 thoughts on “Officialsubs Review: [Funimation] Kuma Miko – Girl Meets Bear (Episode 01)”

  1. That fucking spoiler. Also, you wrote en-dash instead of em-dash; this invalidates every statement you’ve ever made and opinion you’ve ever offered.

    • I think en-dashes would look better. Don’t know if there’s really a standard for this because multiple characters speaking in subtitles is such a corner case.

        • I’m on my cell right now which makes it tricky to copy characters, but yeah both en-dashes and em-dashes exist, and they’re used for different things depending on which style guide you subscribe to.

          Normal dash (hyphen): –
          En-dash: –
          Em-dash: —

          Depending on font, their sizes can vary wildly, so as a rule of thumb I’d suggest that if one of these longer dashes is required, that it simply be the one that “looks better”.

          (My advice here is aimed at fansubs/informal communication. Do research on what guidelines your school/job requires if you’re writing formally.)

  2. “O Lord, have I sinned this day.”
    All over my monitor.

    Also in your tags you have “Crunchyroll”, shouldn’t it be “Funimation”?

  3. Late as hell, but the reason that “No shops that are ever open.” line reads so badly is because it was a mistranslation in the first place. It was SUPPOSED to be “There are no (brand) stores here. None ever open either.”

    Makes more sense that way, doesn’t it?


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