The Moral Quandaries & Ethical Considerations of Hot Gluing

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.


There comes a time in every internet superhero’s life when he has to take a stand and fight for the issues. This is my Selma.

(TL Note: “Hot gluing” is the act of jacking off onto anime figurines.)


“Hot Gluing Is Bad Because It’s Inherently Sexist”

10 years ago, you might’ve had a point. But recent studies of images on my computer suggest that more women have dicks now than men do.

As such, the act is gender-neutral, progressive even. Thus, hot gluing is on the right side of history.

Another argument won with the power of facts and logic.



On the Subject of Ill-Earned Profits / I’m (Not) Okay With This

Sex work is beautiful and valid and should be taught in schools, but guys. GUYS. There are Patreons for cumming on anifigs?

Call me old-fashioned, but masturbating onto a figurine shouldn’t make anyone a millionaire, no matter how good at it you are.

With a 6% rate of return, he’ll have a milli in 76 years.

I take the same stance as with fansubs – no profit allowed.

Like, dude, just let your mom die. This is getting old.

I’ve clearly lost the fight against the weeb mafia already…

Damn you, sexy weeb mafiosos

…but if your work is purely derivative, profits are still owed to the real creators and/or corporate holders of the copyright.


According to the first result on Google (pseudo-paywalled), merchandise royalties are 10%. The guy didn’t source his statistic, and the search function is shit on ANN, so we’ll just claim as fact this is how the entire industry functions.

Since KageLord jacked off on two Nami figurines in September, Mr. One Piece is owed a cut:

$55 per month, 12 posts in September = $4.83 per post x 2 x 10% = ₩1,103.37

Do the right thing. Let’s make hot gluing great again.



The Ethics of Hot Gluing Your Friend’s Rei Figurine While He’s in the Other Room Making Cocktails

Don’t look at me like that.

First off, Rei is a shit-tier waifu, so I was doing you a favor. And she was getting kinda dusty. Also, a Zombie shouldn’t take 5 whole minutes to make, so this was kinda your fault too.

Next topic.



Final Topic

Sensing a theme?
Spoiler for

That’s right, it’s Spookymore time, friends!

Been a decent spooktober so far, huh? Crymore’s entering Spookymore mode until November hits.

Let me know if you got any requests that fit the theme. If I don’t get too lazy, you may even get another post out of me before end of month. <3

39 thoughts on “The Moral Quandaries & Ethical Considerations of Hot Gluing”

  1. Why the TL Note? Anyone who doesn’t know already shouldn’t be visiting your site. I thought you had standards.
    What about the ethics of re-selling figures that have been “glued”?

  2. You might wanna do a “””fansub””” review of the new Higurashi. So far it’s been picked up by 3 groups.

    First there’s Nii-sama, who’s edits consist of stuff like:

    Official: Then I can pay you back for that awesome lunch you made us.
    Nii-sama: Then I can pay you back for that awesome bento you made us.

    Then there’s [HairColor]. Idk what they’re doing but the first line of the description is:
    “For a character-driven show like Higurashi, it’s nice to have subs by hair color.”

    And then there’s [Nipah-Subs]. I won’t comment on this, just see

    Funi’s TL is supposed to be good, would be interesting to see how these *edited* versions compare to it. If you do end up comparing, use the [SubsPlease] reupload for the Funi subs ’cause they fixed a few TL errors, or rip the latest subs from Funi yourself.

  3. I had assumed you had finally drunk yourself to death, given the broken WP theme and zero posts for a year-plus, but it’s good to see you back.

  4. Dark_Sage will you ever grace us again with your presence on IRC? We’re all sitting there patiently awaiting the second coming of christ.

  5. I just went down the rabbit hole on a two hour long e-stalking quest of D_S’s various networking accounts and have come out a beaten and broken man.
    Shoulda kept it at “that alcoholic faggot with quality tastes in anime that posts once a year on”

    • Original shit tastes are still shit tastes.
      But it’s understandable because you got to see her tits before your balls dropped and that was a big deal at the time that left a lasting impression. It’s not your fault.

      • rei is fucking boring, that’s why she’s not my waifu. Yes we saw her tits but if the owner of the tits has a bread and butter personality then it’s a turn off for me.

        Everyone in that show was fucked up but for me, the ones that managed to be the most suave were the scientist lady, guitar guy, OG anime Kaworu, white haired oldie and Kaji. So they are the sexiest imo.


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