Funimation panel drama, fansub drama, and whiskey (no drama).
Note: Chimera’s name has been changed to Mecha Sailor Moon.
12:00 Woke up and hit artist’s alley/the dealer’s room. Will had to work again, so he was already out.
With nothing but money to burn, I grabbed some fancy art stuffs that I’ll never have the space to display.
Didn’t grab anything else since the dealer’s room is usually overpriced and most of the artists at artist’s alley were terrible.
2:00 “Does Evangelion Suck? The Debate”
Basically, the panelists decided to argue with each other… and that was the panel.
So here were the fabulous arguments:
Girl (Eva Sucks): The characters are unlikable, the dialogue is confusing, and people can’t agree on the significance of the ending.
Guy (Eva Rocks): You can buy Evangelion-themed personal massagers.
…Wait, maybe Rei had the wrong idea. That’s legitimately a good point.
You probably think I’m joking here, but that was the argument he went with, and Soup and I were the only ones to clap for it. Sasuga Casualcon.
The rest of the panel consisted of the guy fucking around and the girl making really terrible arguments (like, “I watch anime to be happy, and Eva was dark, so it sucked”). At the end of the panel, the audience voted for which panelist made the better argument… and the girl won. Again, sasuga Casualcon.
3:00 I dunno, maybe we ate food. It likely wasn’t very good.
6:00 “Rejoice! A Fate/Stay Night Panel”
We went to this panel last year, so we kinda knew what to expect from these guys. What they didn’t expect from us was the raging boner Soup had for Prisma Ilya.
The panel involved a bunch of useful, in-depth Fate/Stay Universe details, interspersed by Soup occasionally, and in a very drunkenly manner, running up to the panelists and giving them high fives while raving about how great Ilya was (yes, this happened, and no, the main panelist was not pleased).
7:00 “Funimation Industry Panel”
Funimation really screwed the pooch on their simulcast script for No-Rin, so I took it upon myself to take them to task for it.
As we were in line, the two people ahead of us were checking out my No-Rin review. So I was all “Hey, I’m Dark_Sage” and they were all,
I may be embellishing that part a bit, but there was at least skin-to-skin contact in the form of handshakes.
Anyway, the line started moving, so we all piled in. The room was packed, but we managed to find some awkwardly placed seats to the far right of the room. It was a bit hard to see the screen (since industry panels are 90% commercials), but we were in the front row, so all was well and good. Had to be in a spot to make eye contact with the presenter, after all.
Whenever an announcement was made that I thought was moderately cool, I clapped/cheered/etc. to earn delicious brownie points with the presenter (I’ve been to a lot of their panels, so I know how the Funi game works). Hell I even confessed my love to a Yuno cosplayer, though she ignored me.
And then it came time for what I’d been waiting for: Q&A. They “only had time for 5 questions”, but since I was such a good audience member, I was one of the chosen ones. Here’s how it went down (paraphrased, but accurate):
Dark_Sage: “In light of your continued dedication to translation quality and your recent decision to charge people $8 to view simulcasts each month, could you comment on the completely fucked-up translations, grammatical mistakes, and spelling errors in your releases of Nourin?”
Funi lady: “Uhh, you should really email our support team about that. They’ll get back to yo–“
Dark_Sage: “I already did that. They didn’t reply. What now?”
Funi lady: “Uhh, I’m just in marketing. I can’t really respond. … …Moving onto the next question.”
Then she sort of hunched over and avoided any and all eye contact for the rest of the panel (which consisted of stupid questions like “Shingeki no Kyojin season 2 where?”).
When the panel ended, quite a few people came up to me for high-fives and shit. I don’t believe any of them knew who I was; they just thought Funimation sucked ass at translating and were glad I called Funi out on it.
And as I was walking out of the panel room, some guy asked me if I was Dark_Sage. Thus, another handshake was had.
Ain’t gonna lie, the only way I coulda been more full of myself by the end of all this woulda been if I fisted myself with both hands.
And feel free to corroborate my story with anyone who was there. It may read like a shitty fanfic, but that is truly how it went down. I always play with my sage level at max.
8:00 Drinks, drinks, and more drinks.
Since I’d been sober all day up until the Funi panel (trying to make a point intelligently is a bit hard while under the influence), I figured I had to get on everyone else’s level before continuing with the con, so we rushed from the Funi panel back to the room. This resulted in many whiskey shots for everyone, thanks to the power of peer pressure.
9:30 “The Golden Age of Late Night Anime”
All four of us went to this thing completely smashed. I don’t quite remember the exact titles they listed as being representative of the golden age, but I do remember not being very impressed.
Will objected to their choices by telling them Doraemon was the best late-night anime ever. When the panelists told him that Doraemon did not qualify as a late-night anime, Will started trying to get a Doraemon chant going. And he wasn’t terribly quiet about it.
Cap’n Will then spent the rest of the panel time switching between yelling at the panelists about Doraemon and impressing everyone around us with his Doraemon knowledge. Soup tried to corroborate Will’s info, while Mecha Sailor Moon and I went into “drunken stupor mode”.
Homura crossplayer-kun who was sitting right behind us, since I know you’ll eventually read this post: I’m so sorry for my friends. But hopefully you at least learned some cool new Doraemon facts from the experience.
10:30 Branch-off point
After the Golden Age panel, Soup, Mecha Sailor Moon, and Will seemed rather content to play Walkcon, but I headed back to the room to sober up with the help of beef jerky.
So as I’m sitting in the room, trying to make shit stop spinning, I thought to check out the social medias. Turned out some people who I thought were my bros had been — record scratch — saying mean things about me behind my back! Feeling quite offended, I logged onto my IRC and threw a ban their way (well, only aers’s way since caex wasn’t on). Then shit hit the fan.
So I’m just sitting in this hotel room, drunk as fuck, and laughing my ass off about how mad the Commie devs were getting over this.
Thoroughly entertained, I decided to ride that high into karaoke. Unfortunately, it was not to last.
We’re going to pretend the reason the sound sucks in this vid is cuz I was trying to avoid copyright issues.
The audience danced like that for every song. But I had nothing better to do, so I mutely witnessed the death of the human race’s pride.
1:30 “noitaminA: The Late-Night Block that Revolutionized Anime” Panel
I was all set to bitch out the panelists for their poor taste, until I got a call from Mecha Sailor Moon. She asked me to take Will and do something interesting with him, cuz she just wanted to sleep or whatever. Lame.
When I got to Will, I realized his swag was too out of control for most humans to handle, so I took him to cool off with some karaoke.
1:45 More Karaoke
Have another poorly recorded video:
As Will’s a music major, this panel was pain incarnate for him. I wish I had recorded his reactions, because they were a perfect combination of confusion and sadness.
3:00 I’m going to assume this is when we decided to go to sleep. All I remember is that the cops (yes, they had cops) wouldn’t let us take the heated walkway back to our hotel, so we had to run across the snowy, icy road as cars with obviously drunk drivers were going by.
Day 0 – Thursday: http://www.crymore.net/2014/01/30/ohayocon-2014-day-0-thursday/
Day 1 – Friday: http://www.crymore.net/2014/02/03/ohayocon-2014-day-1-friday/
Day 2 – Saturday: You just finished reading it.
Day 3 – Sunday:
Incoming, assuming someone throws a Phoenix Down at Past_Sage. Phoenix Down received.