Ohayocon 2014 – Day 2 – Saturday

Article, Conventions — By on February 4, 2014 12:27 am

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.

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Funimation panel drama, fansub drama, and whiskey (no drama).

Note: Chimera’s name has been changed to Mecha Sailor Moon.


12:00 Woke up and hit artist’s alley/the dealer’s room. Will had to work again, so he was already out.

With nothing but money to burn, I grabbed some fancy art stuffs that I’ll never have the space to display.

While I technically bought these on Friday, it better suits the narrative if I fill up what was actually just wandering time with some cute anime pix.

Not bad for $40.

Didn’t grab anything else since the dealer’s room is usually overpriced and most of the artists at artist’s alley were terrible.


2:00 “Does Evangelion Suck? The Debate”

Basically, the panelists decided to argue with each other… and that was the panel.


Rei had the right idea.

So here were the fabulous arguments:

Girl (Eva Sucks): The characters are unlikable, the dialogue is confusing, and people can’t agree on the significance of the ending.

Guy (Eva Rocks): You can buy Evangelion-themed personal massagers.

…Wait, maybe Rei had the wrong idea. That’s legitimately a good point.


Eva merch in action.

You probably think I’m joking here, but that was the argument he went with, and Soup and I were the only ones to clap for it. Sasuga Casualcon.

The rest of the panel consisted of the guy fucking around and the girl making really terrible arguments (like, “I watch anime to be happy, and Eva was dark, so it sucked”). At the end of the panel, the audience voted for which panelist made the better argument… and the girl won. Again, sasuga Casualcon.


3:00 I dunno, maybe we ate food. It likely wasn’t very good.


6:00 “Rejoice! A Fate/Stay Night Panel”


And much rejoicing was had.

We went to this panel last year, so we kinda knew what to expect from these guys. What they didn’t expect from us was the raging boner Soup had for Prisma Ilya.

The panel involved a bunch of useful, in-depth Fate/Stay Universe details, interspersed by Soup occasionally, and in a very drunkenly manner, running up to the panelists and giving them high fives while raving about how great Ilya was (yes, this happened, and no, the main panelist was not pleased).


7:00 “Funimation Industry Panel”

Funimation really screwed the pooch on their simulcast script for No-Rin, so I took it upon myself to take them to task for it.

Funimation - No-Rin

I vomited in my mouth a little.

As we were in line, the two people ahead of us were checking out my No-Rin review. So I was all “Hey, I’m Dark_Sage” and they were all,

"If we were chicks, we'd suck your dick."

“If we were chicks, we’d suck your dick.”

I may be embellishing that part a bit, but there was at least skin-to-skin contact in the form of handshakes.

Anyway, the line started moving, so we all piled in. The room was packed, but we managed to find some awkwardly placed seats to the far right of the room. It was a bit hard to see the screen (since industry panels are 90% commercials), but we were in the front row, so all was well and good. Had to be in a spot to make eye contact with the presenter, after all.

Whenever an announcement was made that I thought was moderately cool, I clapped/cheered/etc. to earn delicious brownie points with the presenter (I’ve been to a lot of their panels, so I know how the Funi game works). Hell I even confessed my love to a Yuno cosplayer, though she ignored me.



And then it came time for what I’d been waiting for: Q&A. They “only had time for 5 questions”, but since I was such a good audience member, I was one of the chosen ones. Here’s how it went down (paraphrased, but accurate):

Dark_Sage: “In light of your continued dedication to translation quality and your recent decision to charge people $8 to view simulcasts each month, could you comment on the completely fucked-up translations, grammatical mistakes, and spelling errors in your releases of Nourin?”

Funi lady: “Uhh, you should really email our support team about that. They’ll get back to yo–“

Dark_Sage: “I already did that. They didn’t reply. What now?”

Funi lady: “Uhh, I’m just in marketing. I can’t really respond. … …Moving onto the next question.”

Then she sort of hunched over and avoided any and all eye contact for the rest of the panel (which consisted of stupid questions like “Shingeki no Kyojin season 2 where?”).


When the panel ended, quite a few people came up to me for high-fives and shit. I don’t believe any of them knew who I was; they just thought Funimation sucked ass at translating and were glad I called Funi out on it.

And as I was walking out of the panel room, some guy asked me if I was Dark_Sage. Thus, another handshake was had.

Yeah, boi~

Yeah, boi~

Ain’t gonna lie, the only way I coulda been more full of myself by the end of all this woulda been if I fisted myself with both hands.

And feel free to corroborate my story with anyone who was there. It may read like a shitty fanfic, but that is truly how it went down. I always play with my sage level at max.


8:00 Drinks, drinks, and more drinks.

Best couple in Fate-Zero -- Deal with it

Since I’d been sober all day up until the Funi panel (trying to make a point intelligently is a bit hard while under the influence), I figured I had to get on everyone else’s level before continuing with the con, so we rushed from the Funi panel back to the room. This resulted in many whiskey shots for everyone, thanks to the power of peer pressure.


9:30 “The Golden Age of Late Night Anime”

All four of us went to this thing completely smashed. I don’t quite remember the exact titles they listed as being representative of the golden age, but I do remember not being very impressed.

Will objected to their choices by telling them Doraemon was the best late-night anime ever. When the panelists told him that Doraemon did not qualify as a late-night anime, Will started trying to get a Doraemon chant going. And he wasn’t terribly quiet about it.

If I didn't like Will so much, I'd probably hate him.

If I didn’t like Will so much, I’d probably hate him.

Cap’n Will then spent the rest of the panel time switching between yelling at the panelists about Doraemon and impressing everyone around us with his Doraemon knowledge. Soup tried to corroborate Will’s info, while Mecha Sailor Moon and I went into “drunken stupor mode”.

I'm so drunk I'm starting to think. This isn't good.

“I’m so drunk I’m starting to think. This isn’t good.”

Homura crossplayer-kun who was sitting right behind us, since I know you’ll eventually read this post: I’m so sorry for my friends. But hopefully you at least learned some cool new Doraemon facts from the experience.


10:30 Branch-off point

After the Golden Age panel, Soup, Mecha Sailor Moon, and Will seemed rather content to play Walkcon, but I headed back to the room to sober up with the help of beef jerky.

So as I’m sitting in the room, trying to make shit stop spinning, I thought to check out the social medias. Turned out some people who I thought were my bros had been — record scratch — saying mean things about me behind my back! Feeling quite offended, I logged onto my IRC and threw a ban their way (well, only aers’s way since caex wasn’t on). Then shit hit the fan.

"IRC bans are censorship!" "Dark_Sage should know what everyone does for a living!"

“IRC bans are censorship!” “Dark_Sage should know what everyone does for a living!”  “I have nothing going right for me in my life other than fansubbing. Holy shit, someone put me out of my misery!”

So I’m just sitting in this hotel room, drunk as fuck, and laughing my ass off about how mad the Commie devs were getting over this.

Thoroughly entertained, I decided to ride that high into karaoke. Unfortunately, it was not to last.


12:00 Karaoke

We’re going to pretend the reason the sound sucks in this vid is cuz I was trying to avoid copyright issues.

The audience danced like that for every song. But I had nothing better to do, so I mutely witnessed the death of the human race’s pride.


1:30 “noitaminA: The Late-Night Block that Revolutionized Anime” Panel

Apparently someone liked C.

Apparently someone liked C.

I was all set to bitch out the panelists for their poor taste, until I got a call from Mecha Sailor Moon. She asked me to take Will and do something interesting with him, cuz she just wanted to sleep or whatever. Lame.

When I got to Will, I realized his swag was too out of control for most humans to handle, so I took him to cool off with some karaoke.


1:45 More Karaoke

Have another poorly recorded video:

As Will’s a music major, this panel was pain incarnate for him. I wish I had recorded his reactions, because they were a perfect combination of confusion and sadness.


3:00 I’m going to assume this is when we decided to go to sleep. All I remember is that the cops (yes, they had cops) wouldn’t let us take the heated walkway back to our hotel, so we had to run across the snowy, icy road as cars with obviously drunk drivers were going by.

And that's when Dark_Sage died.

And that’s when Dark_Sage died. RIP Crymore. RIP English. RIP love.




Day 0 – Thursday: http://www.crymore.net/2014/01/30/ohayocon-2014-day-0-thursday/

Day 1 – Friday: http://www.crymore.net/2014/02/03/ohayocon-2014-day-1-friday/

Day 2 – Saturday: You just finished reading it.

Day 3 – Sunday: Incoming, assuming someone throws a Phoenix Down at Past_Sage. Phoenix Down received.


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jabashque says:

Had the cops specified why they didn’t let you use the walkway?

jabashque says:

Wait, what am I thinking? You were probably too drunk to remember anyway.

Dark_Sage says:

Did some investigative journalism when I woke up. Had to do with them closing the rave down at like 2 AM. This was their way of ensuring no raving went on past the designated time.

jabashque says:

I’m guessing the policemen you encountered were supposed to keep the hotel safe by blocking drunken ravers or something.

Dark_Sage says:

Nah, they were “protecting” the convention center. To reach the walkway, you have to walk through a bit of the convention center. If they were there for the hotel, my keycard would have gotten me past them.

jabashque says:

I see… so they were protecting the general public from the ravers.

Dark_Sage says:

Yup. The public in an empty convention center. Funds being put to good use!

jabashque says:

Yep, just like the rest of America.

SquidTheSid says:

How is Sunday going to be even worse than Brony Karaoke? I feel ashamed to even share the same species as these freaks, let alone a common hobby.

Dark_Sage says:

Let’s dial it back a bit. The problem ain’t the bronies. They’re about the only non-anime fandom I’m cool with at anime cons.

The problem is that the people who were dancing should never have been let out of their houses. These kids were dancing to every song that hit karaoke, which was about 80% stupid top-40 pop hits, and there were some incredibly terrible dances. Fuck, they danced in a train around the room on multiple occasions. It was not a good time to be a human being.

SquidTheSid says:

Sorry, I worded my statement poorly. I wasn’t talking about the Bronies, but the “people” dancing to the Brony interpretation of Party Rock. Good God, I now hate anime after seeing how disgusting its fanbase is.

Dark_Sage says:

Oh, no need to worry. These weren’t even anime fans. They were middle/high schoolers who don’t even know what anime is. They just came to the con because they heard it would be “a fun time for everyone” (which is how Ohayocon has been positioning itself, as you’ll see in my Sunday post).

Just look at the second vid. There are three anime cosplayers and 0 anime shirts. Blame the Marvel/League of Legends fanbase for this one.

SquidTheSid says:

Man, you’re really hyping up Sunday. Surely you will deliver in full.

It’s really sad how I can’t talk to most of my friends about the shows I like (such as Shinsekai Yori or Uchouten Kazoku) since they’ve never heard of them. As a result, I’m forced to talk about my hobby online with people who feel the same way.

I also very much don’t like engaging myself in activities like cosplay, cons, and the like, but my anime club has been fun so far (even if I’ve already seen most of the shows)and gotten me to go out with friends.

So yeah, Crycon. Make it happen based god.

begna112 says:

C-crycon? The thought gives me goosebumps. But whether that’s due to unimaginable despair or titilating desire, I can’t say.

Dark_Sage says:

It’d be fantastic. Got a couple million for me to squander?

FalseDawn says:

Hey, at least you have an anime club. Back when I was at uni (admittedly, a while ago now) the BT explosion of fansubs had only just happening and it took days to download anything worth watching. So my university didn’t have an anime club (though my uni was pretty shit – it didn’t even have a movie club. Someone tried to set one up in my final year but he was a bit of a loser and I don’t think it happened in the end).

Obviously there are more anime/manga fans in the UK now and manga has proliferated in bookstores and libraries as well as more anime on TV, but it’s still very niche here, so the internet is the only safe haven! I don’t even think we have a dedicated anime con here – the most relevant one is the London Expo which is now dubbed Comic Con, so that shows where its priorities lie.

Hunta says:

Lol IRC drama.

Dark_Sage says:

I was not prepared for any response at all, but apparently some people live for Rizon.

Brw says:

“1.75 foot long”
Eva goes deeper than I could ever have imagined.

FalseDawn says:

Sometimes, against my better judgement, I wish there was a Like button in this place :D

Dark_Sage says:

Functionality added. (It was an incredibly solid comment, I agree.)

jimmy says:

I’m happy to hear about the Funimation panel. Did you give any specific examples of awful lines?

Dark_Sage says:

No. I thought about it, but then realized half the audience wouldn’t know what a keikaku doori was in the first place.

Anon says:

Shiteating Commie staff getting assblasted over literally anything that doesn’t stroke their ego (because minimally editing and adding epic meams to subs is clearly an enviable hobby) and feed their superiority complex?

I’m shocked. SHOCKED.

Homura crossplayer-kun says:

No worries! I did learn a new fact or two about Doraemon.

Dark_Sage says:


I was gonna snag a pic from you after the Sunday magical girl panel, but you left pretty quickly. Couldn’t take the “So here’s ten minutes where I’m gonna talk about what I had for breakfast” cringe?

Homura crossplayer-kun says:

I’d have stayed if I knew about that! I just heard that the panelists did a poor job with their panels the day before and there were no other magical girls there so I bailed. Was it actually a decent panel?

I still have a picture of Will raving on about Doraemon though, strangely enough.

Dark_Sage says:

Oh man, it was terrible.

You made the right call in skipping out. I only stayed cuz I had nothing better to do.

Email me that Will <3 Doraemon pic and a pic of your crossplay if you've got one lying around. I'm all about memories, and I retained very few of them from that panel.


will says:

That dancing was probably the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever witnessed in my life.

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