And you thought it couldn’t get any worse. Somebody put this pseudo-anime con out of its misery.
Note: Mecha Sailor Moon shall be referred to henceforth as Mistress Marmouth von Butterworth the Third.
9:00 At any normal anime con, we’d be packing to hit the noon “get the fuck out of our hotel” deadline. But Soup and I had earlier decided to spend an extra night, just to get the full Sunday experience at what we thought was going to be the greatest con ever. (You laugh, but we were legitimately hyped to the max for this year’s Ohayocon.)
So this was a chillax time for everyone.
Soup and Mistress Marmouth von Butterworth the Third decided to sleep in. And Will… Uhh, maybe he didn’t have work on Sunday? I don’t remember. Anyway, I headed into the con by myself and they all caught up at various points.
10:00 “Manga Japanese Critics Love” Panel
I thought this was gonna be a panel about good manga, but instead it was a panel about manga that Japanese critics love.
10:30 “Free and Easy: A History of Anime Consumption” Panel
Based on the name, I went in expecting a panel about fansubs. Instead, Panelist-kun read the “Anime History in America” Wikipedia page at the audience for an hour. It was as entertaining as you might expect.
Sadly enough, the boredom may have been tolerable were it not for the inaccurate information he kept spewing at us. Presenter-kun thought Sony was the company that came up with HD-DVD, for example.
Fucking Sunday amateur hour.
11:30 Subway time
And what a pathetic walkcon it was. But not like you can expect much from Sundays.
1:00 “Panel Announcements” (This was a panel intended for panelists, to let them know all the info they’d need for what would be going on next year. But we snuck in cuz we’re too cool for rules.)
If you want to know why I’ll never go to another Ohayocon, this panel is the reason.
Remember the Boogiepop presenter from Friday? You know, the one who who spent 20 minutes reading a goddamn entire chapter from one of the Boogiepop novels? Yeah, he’s the head of panels for Ohayocon.
And by his side was some lovely thirty-something-year-old trying very hard with her make-up to cling to her twenties. She started ranting about how Ohayocon had to be a “family con” that attracted both families with children and the children themselves. And that incoming panels had to be respectful of Ohayocon’s desire to be a family con.
Ohayocon visitors, if you’re wondering why the panels all had age ratings this year and seemed more boring on the whole, this lady is to blame. And it’s only gonna get worse from here on out. If this con has any 18+ panels in 2017, I’m gonna be shocked.
But forget her. Let’s focus on the fat piece of shit that’s in charge of all the panels: Boogiepop-kun. And what did Boogiepop-kun want to see for Ohaycon 2015? Well, the answer is fewer anime panels and more “generally inclusive” ones. And he made sure to point out this was a con-wide shift in direction.
Though I wasn’t able to grab a pic of the full list, here are some of the panel topics that Ohayocon would prefer instead of anime/manga panels:
- Fan-fiction. There was no asterisk by this, so any and all fan-fiction is a go.
- Video games. Again, no qualifier as to what this means.
- American comics. Cuz Deadpool is just so whacky!
Oh, and for all the panels, the content they’re based on must have been made in the past 5 years.
I guess they’re trying to be relevant by making themselves irrelevant. It’s a bold move. Wonder how it’ll play out for them.
So in honor of Ohayocon’s new direction, I made them a banner for next year’s con.
Royalty-free, guys. Have at it.
2:00 “Why Your Fandom Sucks: With Greg Ayres” (He’s a VA or something, which I didn’t realize until after I wandered my way into the room.)
I thought this was gonna be a humorous panel about how reddit trash should never leave their mothers’ basements, but what I got was some touchy-feely, “why can’t we all be nakama desu?” bullshit.
Yes, Greg, if I encountered some poor otaku kid sleeping under a pillar and starving to death, I’d probably throw ’em a tenner to get a sandwich. But no, that doesn’t mean I have to fellate every panelist I come across, nor does it mean I need to regard every shitty fucking Disney princess cosplayer as equivalent to a human being.
My fandom is the anime fandom. It is not the Homestuck fandom, and it is not the Marvel fandom. Fuck you for trying to kill anime by advocating what amounts to fandom merges. You almost make me wish you’d succeed, just so you wouldn’t have a job anymore. Maybe then we’d see how much value your ability to voice act cartoons would have on the open market.
2:30 “Girl Power Transformation: A Magical Girl Panel”
This was quite possibly the dumbest panel I sat through at Ohayocon. Fuck you, Sunday, for not having any decent panels for me to go to instead.
Have an example of what I had to witness:
I had to cut the video down to 13 (or 12, depending on what Youtube feels like) seconds, because you don’t deserve to suffer through any more of that shit. And yes, the whole panel was like that. Hell, I could only get through it because I had Will by my side.
You’re a true hero.
4:00 “FLCL: Little Prince Curry” Panel
Surprisingly good. The panelist knew her shit and was capable of entertaining the crowd while simultaneously informing us of how shit that was nonsensical at first blush actually had some meaning behind it.
I still think it’s a bad show cuz it’s never entertained me, but this panel almost got me to watch it for a fourth time.
5:00 Fare thee well, fair friends.
We said our goodbyes to Mistress Marmouth von Butterworth the Third as she returned to her native North Carolina. Those fucking warm-weather-having assholes.
Soon after, Will also hit the road. I’m not sure why he didn’t take his Patron with him, but I assume it had something to do with him still being drunk from the night before.
6:00 Soup and I went back to the hotel and chilled, waiting for our morning flights that couldn’t come soon enough, and trying to figure out which con we’d go to next.
Day 0 – Thursday: http://www.crymore.net/2014/01/30/ohayocon-2014-day-0-thursday/
Day 1 – Friday: http://www.crymore.net/2014/02/03/ohayocon-2014-day-1-friday/
Day 2 – Saturday: http://www.crymore.net/2014/02/04/ohayocon-2014-day-2-saturday/
Day 3 – Sunday: :X