This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.
I’m six episodes into the 13 shows I haven’t yet dropped, so I figured I’d bestow my perfect opinions upon those of ya who aren’t lucky enough to be me.
1. Kekkai Sensen
Trigun was awful, so when I got the news the douchetwat behind it was responsible for another series, I had to hide my fucking Maker’s from myself, elsewise I woulda drained the bottle in an hour of coping. Luckily, Nightow actually gained talent as he grew older, in what I like to call “the reverse-Watanabe”.
There’s no forced hippie bullshit in Kekkai; just a fun romp through a New York City inhabited by aliens. The tone’s on point, alternating between drama and comedy with ease, and the characters are more than throwaway tropes. About the only bad thing concerning Kekkai Sensen is that I’ll never be able to fuck a wolfgirl like Sumeragi, unless I’m prepared to get into some science I don’t quite understand.
The body becomes more and more willing as the days go on.
2. Shokugeki no Soma
You thought an anime about people orgasming from eating food would be bad? What kinda sexless beast are you? Loosen that belt and trim your fucking fingernails; this show’s about as close as most of you will get to experiencing what it’s like to be in my presence. Fast-track it to watch status.
I still like Loki best, but goddamn if this anime isn’t all about Hestia and her boy toy, Bell.
You wanna tell me OTP wasn’t coined for these two? Try it. No matter how much you lie to yourself, you can’t lie to me.
4. Arslan Senki
This one comes from behind, like that one friend of yours whom you just know rape kits were invented for. Arslan has an exceptionally slow start, considering how most shows seem to be taking the “let’s make sure the first cour we do is hype as fuck and then wait to see if people buy enough blus to justify a second cour” approach. With A. Senki, there’s no doubt the show’s built to hearken back to when stories were expected to be told in 24-episode chunks, and when the payoff was big for the investment.
…That’s a long-winded way to say shit sucks until episode 5. But it’s a (so far) morally grey, character-driven drama that isn’t afraid to kill off its cool characters to advance the story, which is respectable considering how safe-space most action anime you’ll see are.
What, you liked Akatsuki no Yona? Well the spiritual successor’s here and it has even more fujobait.
Throw this in a marathon with Shokugeki and take the next day off. You’ll thank me for the foresight.
Worth Watching If…
You’re a pedophile:
Houkago no Pleiades
This show’s hype as fuck, and I’m not sure why I like it, considering I’ve determined I have no interest in kids. I guess it’s because it’s just a really cute story about a group of friends growing up and having actiony fun together, without being sexualized to the point of causing you to seriously re-evaluate all the decisions in your life that led up to that point.
Well thanks, Gainax. Now I look like an ass.
You only watch episode 1:
Edge of Tomorrow, but with anime. Try not to think about how Japan could fuck such a concept up, and then cry into your glass when you watch episode 2 in hopes that I’m lying.
Right now, the only good thing going for the show is episode 6 will allow you to smugly look down on any SJWs who dismiss the show without getting to that point. Though, you probably do so already, so…
Yamada-kun and the Seven Witches
A romcom that makes fun of harems? A Yahari worth watching?! Sign + me + up.
Well, the ending put a rest to that.
…un + sub + scribe.
You only care about the main character
Mikagura Gakuen Kumikyoku
She’s really not enough to carry this show, but if you’re like me, you’ll keep watching with desperate enthusiasm. Surely her shoulders will broaden enough; that scarf’s like fucking advanced weight training or someshit.
Not Worth Watching
These shows all suck. You’re welcome to argue about it, but I can save you the effort and let you know ahead of time that you’re wrong and arguing with me is like arguing against a wall of facts. Sexy, sexy facts.
Still (somehow) watching:
Kyoukai no Rinne
Owari no Seraph
Dropped before episode 6:
Plastic Memories (at episode 4)
Show by Rock!! (at episode 3)
Gunslinger Stratos (at episode 3)
Etotama (at episode 3)
Re-Kan! (at episode 3)
Denpa Kyoushi (at episode 3)
Nagato Yuki-chan no Shoushitsu (Dropped it at the point Haruhi goes all “yeah, Kyon, I’ll change me hair for you, how do you like it now?” Fucking wow. Way to fucking ruin my love of the franchise entirely, guys. It stings even more considering original series was my favorite anime for about 6 fucking years.)