[Crunchyroll]’s Occultic;Nine Sucks (Episode 01 Review)

Fail, Fall 2016, Fansub Review — By on October 16, 2016 1:11 am

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.

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The “official” script is nonsense, and WhyNot’s is (somehow) even worse. I strongly suggest skipping Occultic;Nine until some decent subs come out. You will *not* enjoy it even half as much with your current options.




Much like my Soushin review, another company other than Crunchyroll is responsible for providing the base script here. In this case, Aniplex is providing the retardation.

However, the buck stops with the distributor, and freelance anime editors/TLCs are cheap, so I am absolutely going to be taking Crunchyroll to task for all this. They have no excuse for butchering this show as badly as they did.



Table of Contents

Release Information

Visual Quality

Script Quality




Release Information



Episode details.

Release format: It doesn’t matter, you don’t want this release.

Japanesiness: This is revenge for WW2.

English style: N/A.

Encoding details: http://pastebin.com/gbg6FTai

Speed: Simulcast.

Translation style: “just fuck my shit up”


External links.

Website: http://www.crunchyroll.com/



Visual Review






Rating: N/A.




Rating: N/A.

Neither the OP nor the ED are translated, which sadly is about the only mercy shown to viewers of this rotting release.




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Capitalization and positioning of these signs are about as arbitrary as the whims of whichever god has let this typesetter’s existence continue on up until this point.

Look, deity-kun, I understand the value of experimentation, but maybe you should cut your losses on this one. Over an infinite period of time, monkeys with typewriters could formulate the entire works of Shakespeare, but this typesetter would succeed only in choking to death on the keys within the first twenty minutes.





The encode is less than bueno.



Script Review


This isn’t English. Hell, it isn’t even Japanese.

Don’t click the spoiler if you still want to retain your mental purity; these shitsubs will ruin you.


Main Script.


Nobody talks about a “water’s bottom”. Normally you’d say shit like “riverbed”, “lakebed”, or “seabed” to refer to a body of water’s bottom. Here, it’s ambiguous, so you gotta play a bit with the wording.

“A dark water’s depths.”


I’ve heard of Japanese name order, but Japanese word order?

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“For my fellow NEETs out there, no other job could be this wonderful.”

Note: Blogging is not wonderful. And if you actually try to make a profit off this… may god save your soul.


There’s a big difference between items for sale and items on sale.


Anyway, you can call me “NEET God,”

But don’t.

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*in my

I don’t even want to fix that second screen. What a fucking mess.

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Sites that “round-up” articles from other sites are called “aggregators”.


“on the other hand”? What the fuck is this line comparing to that would allow this line to make any sense at all?


The fuck does this even mean? Like… “sharp wit”? Plz no, that would be too sad.


Kiri Kiri Basara -> Kiri Kiri Baba is the wordplay here.

Jokes/puns in this release are directly translated, meaning unless you know what the fuck is being said in Japanese, it won’t make a goddamn lick of sense.

Look, fuckwits, when you’re translating a release and you run into some goddamn puns, it’s time to fucking localize. People shouldn’t miss out on the humor just because you were too dense or too lazy to fucking understand that a joke in Japanese should be turned into a joke in English as well. This is translation 101, dipfucks.

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Guesslated garbage belongs where this translator’s mother wanted to put him. Sadly, the body survived the coat hanger but the mind didn’t.


“Well, Ryo-tas, you’re not supposed to be dancing — you’re supposed to be working. For the site.”

Editing this script physically hurts. ;_;




Fucking what.




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I want to be done. With everything. Jesus fucking Christ…


allows you to learn -> teaches

Yes, it matters. No, I wouldn’t expect this thought-deficient translator to know that.





He ain’t a goddamn exhibitionist.

“Maybe he likes the attention?”


This might belong more in the TS section, but fuck it. Leaving signs like this untranslated is the equivalent of leaving Celty’s text messages in Durarara in Japanese. Not acceptable.


directly -> himself



a = for consonant sounds

an = for syllable sounds


*author’s spirit


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annoying is the word, death is the solution


I’m glad I don’t know what the fuck is going on here. I feel like if I did, I’d just hate the translator even more.


Even Google is at a loss to what the fuck this translator is on.


“This will work.”


*late father

It matters, almost as much as this translator’s life doesn’t.


“My only regret”

…is watching this release.

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Not even Google Translate could output something this inhumanly gibberish.


When death becomes a viewer’s only possible salvation… maybe your translation sucks.


celebrity hot spot, much like my dick

(KY celebs, this zinger doesn’t really work unless you do your part as well. Cut a nii-san some slack plz. <3)

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Nobody in the history of ever has said “My best regards for you” when they could have instead said “It’s nice to meet you” or any variation thereof.


I suppose it’s hard to have standards for your subs when you don’t have standards for your life.

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brought -> bring



Homonyms aren’t synonyms.


Nobody speaks like this.


God, there’s not enough gin in the world…





Watchability: Unwatchable. The script makes no sense.

Overall grade: Fail.

Let me put it this way: If this was the rough draft script that my translator handed me to edit, I would scrap it and then single-handedly sponsor a trip for him and his entire family to a gas shower onsen. Nearly every line in this release needs to be rewritten in order to make it somewhat intelligible.

If you watch this show with the “official” translation, you will probably end up dismissing the series as jank garbage, which is a fucking travesty considering how good it could be. This is a great example of how to kill a fucking brand.


Occultic;Nine’s current score on MyAnimeList. For a totes unbiased comparison, Steins;Gate has a 9.17 and is the 4th highest scored show on the site.

If this series fails to take off in the US, you can almost entirely blame it on the shitty translation that Aniplex and Crunchyroll provided. Way to go, douchefucks. You played yourselves.


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Solaristics says:

Aniplex sure put their A-Team on the show.

“allows you to learn -> teaches”

You mean teach, right?

Dark_Sage says:

It depends on how you take my suggestions, but

“but not one university in Japan teaches parapsychology”

was the intended substitute.

Solaristics says:

Ah, I took it as you just replacing the word, but that works too.

Pizza says:

Or even better, skip Occultic;Nine altogether, even with good subs I would hate this.

This was gold – Translation style: “just fuck my shit up”

I mean, who needs fansub reviews when official subs are a thing.

This release is truly an abomination.

I’m sure loving the quality content from CR(even if in this case I guess Aniplex is to blame). Watashi ga Motete Dousunda ep. 2 had fucked up audio, but that might’ve been HorribleSubs’s fault.

Welp says:

I’m sure this show can’t be worse than Izetta.
I’ll try it later.
Btw wtf with those boobs?

Dark_Sage says:

Either there’s a significant plot reason, or there’s no reason at all. Either way I’m not complaining, cuz it’s funny as hell.

Solaristics says:

>Worse than Izetta

There’s plenty of other shows worse than izetta.

Welp says:

B-But, Izetta is bad enough.
I mean, WWII with magical bullcrap in it?
Like, seriously?

Ryuu says:

A witch using an anti material rifle as a broom and possible Yuri developments. What more do you want?

Welp says:

A good show. ;_;

Dark_Sage says:


Solaristics says:

It’s Japan and a made up show. I mean, you act surprised fam.

ZenMorian says:

>light novel

Lmao says:

It’s not CR script tho. Just Shitplex (also known as “Aniplex”). I mean, it should be tagged as “Aniplex”, since you don’t have to watch it on CR. Daisuki is also simulcasting.

Dark_Sage says:

That’s true, and I noted that in the very beginning of the review, but shaming Crunchyroll is much more likely to result in change than going after Daisuki or Aniplex directly.

ryotats says:

but it has tits you fucking nigger twat

Dark_Sage says:

Their subs don’t, you thought-barren, discarded cum rag of a genetic mistake.

PP says:

Commie-sama, saves us!

Dark_Sage says:

The saddest pseudo-sentence in the English language.

Xenath3297 says:

I thought the japanese might have been complicated for this show, but I’m not sure it would excuse this. Kinda interested in seeing how someone took care to do worse than this.

James says:

The show got removed from everywhere you can stream it in multiple countries.

Crunchy’s removal:

“Crunchyroll announced on Friday that the first two episodes of Occultic;Nine are currently unavailable “due to a decision by the production committee.” Crunchyroll stated that the episodes will return, but did not provide a return date.”

Dark_Sage says:

If they dropped it in order to fix the subs I am going to have the biggest fucking boner.

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