Translation Review: [SubDESU] Mujaki no Rakuen OAD – 03

Article, D-Tier, Summer 2016, Translation Review — By on July 18, 2018 9:01 pm

This post was written by kokujin-kun. He is not Dark_Sage.


LolisRDead.

Table of Contents

Release Information

Translation

Other Observations

Final Grade

Another one of my belated Subdesu posts.

Earlier this year, the group finally released the last episode in the Mujaki no Rakuen OVA series. Believe you me, I reaaaally wanted to shit on their first two releases, especially after seeing lines like these:

Yes, the first two episodes used the term shirouto doutei, which literally translates to “amateur virgin,” which, strangely enough, too many amateur translators think is a thing and leave it at that.

These same translators never even bother to use the tools at their disposals, like Denshi Jisho, to dig deeper into the meaning of that phrase: those dudes are called amateur virgins because they only have sex with professional sex workers.

Anyhoo, I bit my tongue because me, being a lolicon degenerate that I am, had my group release the same series. It would have been unethical to bash the competition from someone else’s platform.

Buut, since my group is pretty much defunct, I believe I’m free to drag on their latest offering all I want.

Release Information

Episode details.

Translation:

Wap Level: 70% wap (honorifics, but “rice balls” instead of “onigiri”)

English style: American English.

Speed: Slow (2 years since OAD release)

 

External links.

Group website: http://www.subdesu.org

 

Translation

Karaoke.

OP and ED, group clearly was not up to the task. And the name is “Nako, “not “Nanako.”

Spoiler:
Yes, I know it’s the anime studio that fucked up

Main Script.

ERROR

You lose points for being too incredibly fucking lazy to typeset or translate a sign.

WTF

These lines are so poorly written that the third line nearly amounts to an error. Subdesu’s rendition of the third line (hontou ni saikou yo ne) may have been right if it came immediately after the second line, but the lack of thought ruined this sequence.

ERROR

He’s saying he was the one who got them the free tickets to get into the pool in the first place. (優待券もらってきたの俺だぞ!) That would make the next line (“I didn’t ask [for a ticket]”) make sense.

ERROR

Misheard “Manatsu!” (name of girl in the middle) for “hanatsu” (to let go).

However, if a speaker is using the unconjugated dictionary form of the verb without directly referring to the subject of the verb, most of the time you can infer that the speaker is talking about herself and her action. If Rio wanted to tell Manatsu to let go, she would use the imperative form of the verb (most likely hanashite).

ERROR

Didn’t translate this sign.

ERROR

Nichiyoubi, or “Sunday.”

TYPO

This one is clearly on Subdesu. But the other times they get Nako’s name right.

MAJOR NITPICK

Here, I’d say nigate na mono would refer to things she cannot deal with, or in this case, what she’s scared of.

NITPICK

Here in ‘Murica, we call it a “waterslide.”

CONSISTENCY

“Rio-chan”

ERROR

Shouta says kaihouteki na kuuki, meaning “liberating environment.” He’s basically saying that just because everyone is in a swimsuit doesn’t mean the girls should “innocently” strip in front of him (the scene will make MUCH more sense if you read the manga… while in prison.)

ERROR

So the full Japanese line is demo maa, ore wa otona dakara, konna gaki no karada mitatte pikuritto mo… shiterushi!! (でもまあ、俺は大人だから、こんなガキの体見たってピクリっとも…してるし!!)  (But, well, I’m an adult. Even if I see bodies of little brats, it won’t affect me… it is!”)

The translator got confused at the gaki no karada (brat’s body) part and thought the brat’s body belonged to Shouta instead of the two lolis. Perhaps the translator heard konna gaki no karada ni datte, (“even to this brat’s body”) wrote the line in question, and thought “nailed it!”

MAJOR NITPICK

Shouta is actually trying to say ato de (later).

CONFUSING

So the situation is that Sayo accidentally got popsicle juice on her chest and wants to clean it off. Manatsu suggests she have Shouta lick it off for her. Manatsu reasons that it won’t be “fair” if Shouta doesn’t do it. The reason why it’s not fair is that the two girls have been licking Shouta’s popsicle all day without letting him have any, so this is their (lewd) way of finally letting him have some.

Unfortunately, Subdesu’s rendition does not convey that message.

ERROR

Natsu no kaihoukan tte… kowai (夏の開放感って・・・怖い) Once again, kaihou doesn’t mean “refreshing,” it means “liberating.”

ERROR

Ie de parapara mitetara ikinari nottete bikkuri (家でパラパラ見てたらいきなり載っててびっくり!) Line is supposed to be translated as “When I was flipping through [the magazine] I was surprised when [Konomi] appeared in it.”

Perhaps it all went wrong when the translator misheard parapara (onomatopoeia for flipping pages) for daradara (slovenly).

ERROR

Konomi-chan, kawaii.  If you can translate that line correctly by yourself, you’re already overqualified for Subdesu.

But seriously, where the shit did they get “blouse”?

ERROR

No typeset, no points.

ERROR

Anna ni ookiku noru to omowanakute (あんなに大きく載ると思わなくて) The line refers to her magazine feature/photo, which took up at least one page. So the line should literally be “I did not think I would be printed so big.”

ERROR

Maaybe you should include something about how they are redeveloping the site into a condo.

NITPICK

Deru in this context usually refers to ghosts appearing.

ERROR

No, he said “cross the fence,” which will turn out to be an important plot point.

Spoiler:

ERROR

Me no yariba ga chotto (目のやり場がちょっと) Yes, Konomi gets stuck in a barb-wire fence in a way that is both lewd to the male gaze, yet leaves her miraculously uninjured. Me no yariba means a place to rest one’s gaze, which had Shouta perplexed for obvious reasons.

Also, spoilers because pantsus are lewd, but not swimsuits oddly enough.

Spoiler:

ERROR

Missed a line. Konomi says dou (“How is it?”) here.

ERROR

Translator heard suresou (擦れそう about to be scraped) instead of tsurisou (攣りそう about to get cramped).

ERROR

Next line, and taisei wo kaeru (体勢を変える) means “change my posture.”

ERROR

逆さ乳 (sakasa chichi, underboobs) not 逆立ち (sakadachi, handstand).

Seriously, the TL wrote this line while seeing this footage?

ERROR

Critical phrase is 汚すこと (kegasu koto, sullying) but the Subdesu TL heard 怪我 (kega, injury) instead.

ERROR

She’s trying to say hayaku kaeru before she got scared by the spider, so it’s supposed to be “Now we can hurry home—”

 

Other Observations

They should lose points for this.

Final Grade: D

What can I say, it’s Subdesu being Subdesu again, even with less workload in the age of streaming anime.

 

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7 Comments

Hobiron says:

Even if you say that, it just can’t be helped. Subdesu will always be Subdesu.

KoolKidsK says:

Start the party, koku. Three otls + Sentai for Starlight Revue 02! Starlight Subs, Chyuu-PAS and ACSS are all otls, supposedly. Fansubbing is truly alive this season!

juj says:

And your version is the worst so far. Stop buttering him up and do the 2nd episode already

KoolKidsK says:

“I don’t know Japanese but I know your release is the worst because of what I read on /a/ also by people who don’t know Japanese”
Kiddo, crymore (previously whiners.pro) has been around for ages and is has been THE go-to spot for fansubbers to talk and shitpost. Move along.
Also our 02’s on the way.

KoolKidsK says:

Why did my comment not go to the post above it, D_S pls
(unless I actually messed up then that’s on me)

KoolKidsK says:

Also bring back the ability to edit posts :<

Dark_Sage says:

The original plugin apparently broke. Installed a new one, and holy hell does it make things ugly on my end. But eh, give it a shot, you should be good to go now.

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