Galaxy S5 Review

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.


Phones are sort of like anime fans — no matter how bad you think they are now, they’re only going to get worse.

If you remember how much I hated the S4, I thought it’d be a good idea to get away from it as soon as possible with an upgrade to the S5.

Holy shit was that a bad call.




Screenshot_2014-04-15-23-56-21 Screenshot_2014-04-15-23-56-28

S4 on the left, S5 on the right. If you wanna look for what to compare, look at the colors/sharpness on the Eva clock widget.

The visuals are worse because while they expanded the size of the screen, you still have the same amount of pixels, so everything’s garishly stretched. And for some reason, the top part of the screen is now invisible. Huzzah!



It feels like you’re holding a brick, and whenever you place the phone down on something and try to pick it up, you can hear the camera scrape against the surface. Hell, in order to even navigate the damn thing with one hand, you have to change to a specific one-handed navigation mode that makes you feel like you’re even dumber than iPhone users.

You will never be this cool.
You will never be this cool with an S5.



Google just keeps getting more and more stalkery, to the point where you can’t get anything done without letting it know all of your goddamn business. Wanna get emails from multiple accounts on your device? Better sync ’em all up so Google can build a better profile on you. Wanna even get past the startup screen? Without a Google account, your device is just gonna be a shitty frisbee.

Google on the left.
Google on the left.

By the time the S6 hits, if it doesn’t require you to sign in with your Google+ account (now with mandatory social security number validation) then someone at the injustice league fucked up.



Samsung S5 Charger
This shit’s gonna snap off in about a month.

Charging it is a bitch, because you have to open a slot at the bottom of the phone to do it each time you want to access the charger. And holding the phone with the charger in it gives the phone a heft that makes you feel like it’s gonna flip out of your goddamn hands. And unless you’re a cute anime maid, that’s not a good thing.



S5 - Fucking Buttons
Two buttons for the same function? What innovation!

The menu button has been replaced by a second back button. I do not fucking know why.



About the only thing the S5 performs objectively better at than the S4 is taking pictures.

Pictures of my Evangelion headset, taken with my S4:

S4 - Left Side Evangelion Headphones S4 - Right Side Evangelion Headphones

S4 - Evangelion Headphones

Pictures of my Evangelion headset, taken with my S5:

S5 - Evangelion Headphone Left S5 - Evangelion Headphone Right S5 - Evangelion Headphone

The pictures don’t lie; there’s a pretty noticeable difference in quality. Definitely something to take into consideration, since the new device is only a paltry $700.



Final score: Like anyone actually gives a shit about the functionality of a status symbol/10.

73 thoughts on “Galaxy S5 Review”

  1. Something looks a little different between the two sets of pictures of your headphones. Is it… the leaf? The leaf is bigger in the second set right?

  2. “By the time the S6 hits, if it doesn’t require you to sign in with your Google+ account”

    It’ll probably be a Samsung S-Web account, since Samsung is getting tired of having to placate Google.

  3. Is that shield kit a custom-made? V-MODA in collaboration with Evangelion is something never heard of. Or it’s just me who’s poorly informed and there have been occasional joint products.

    They look truly gorgeous, your Evangelion headphones (the second pair).

    • Yup. I asked Soup if there were any companies that had decent customization options and he suggested them.

      The official options just suck too much to wear for anything other than weird otaku fashion.

      Glad you like ’em. I was pretty hype when they arrived on Tuesday.

    • Got a better option while I’m still within the return period? I was under the impression I was buying the Android with the best camera.

      • Samsung high end phones usually have decent cameras. However, they severely lack in software optimisation.

        If you want a decent phone, the Xperia Z2 would a be a better choice, though it isn’t up for sale yet (I believe).

        Another good phone is the LG G2, if you don’t mind it not being the newest of the new.

        The Nexus 5 is a great phone too. The camera isn’t amazing but it isn’t bad at all.

        The HTC One (M8) is another beautiful device but it doesn’t have a good camera.

        • I know, but I’d lose nerd cred if I went Windows. I mean, I wear glasses and shave my genitals. How could I betray my people?

  4. wait, how did you get your hands on that pair of nerv branded crossfades? are those stickers or wet decals? I must admit I’m quite jelly.

    also, for your next headphone purchase, get a sony cd900st, I think 70-80% of all anime record studios use them. they’re cheap(ish) sound amazing (best closed cans under 250 usd hands down) and built to survive a nuclear war.

    • For $45 you can get the sides customized with whatever you want. Well with it so far; I spent about an hour last night just looking at my reflection with them on.

      Not really interested in getting any more headphones. I got some Sennheisers (don’t ask what model cuz I don’t remember) back home as my classy backups.

  5. Now I’m going to sound like a whiny cunt or a SamShill, but I really feel like you’re not giving the phone enough credit, as it’s substantially faster than the S4, has a longer battery life, and cleans up touchwiz, making it not complete fucking crap. Also the screen goes much brighter and darker, and the bottom thing is on there for waterproofing purposes. And if you can’t hold or type on the screen with one hand, you must have really girlish, dainty hands. Also, this is neither anime nor fansub related.

      • TRIPLE-POSTING FOR THE WIN! Also, “Second back” is actually making the button layout like default Android (Switcher-Home-Back). Long-press switcher should do menu, or at least it’s such in PA. But then again, not software button, so doesn’t matter either way.

        • The switcher is actually useful for one-handed navigation, I found out one day… while being very, very lazy. That being said, I’d rather there be another button that enables menu-ization. I don’t like having to guess how to get to the settings part for each app/screen.

    • I don’t really know what to make of this comment. Is this like a new breed of spam? Helpful, but a blatant advertisement?

      Yes, “THX quality sound & picture”, I did try that. And no, it didn’t help. Thanks, though?

      • What “didn’t help”?

        If anything, setting display profile to “Cinema” or “Professional Photo” should give you display quality nearing that of reference monitors used in Hollywood productions. Right now your phones display is better than your current desktop monitor and/or even your TV in “objective measures that matter” (see when it comes to picture quality.

        If you’re gonna do a thorough review on an anime:
        1. Forget your laptop screen or your TV.
        2. start downloading MX player pro on your Galaxy S5.
        3. Download any MKV 10 bit anime using your S5.
        4. Play it back on your S5.
        5. Enjoy reference-display quality that rivals that of pro-monitors. You get realistic anime colors (as seen by creators) that do “pop” but without burning your eyes. Now start properly reviewing anime by watching it on your S5!

        Disclosure: Some Best Buy employee let me play around with the Note 3 and S5 in store and even away from bright lights last week. I was playing around with the settings, and when I discovered that Galaxy series had changeable display profiles like “Cinema” and “Professional Photo”… I was like waaaooow. When I started applying the settings… I was blown away! Compared to other phones such as Sony and HTC… no one comes close to latest Samsung’s total dedication to color accuracy. Not even the iPhone or even iPad can nail total color accuracy like the Note/S-series.

        • >cellphone
          >”display quality nearing that of reference monitors”

          are you high

          alternately, are hollywood reference monitors shit?

          • Either high or getting paid to say that. I’d wager on the latter, personally.

            >Compared to other phones such as Sony and HTC… no one comes close to latest Samsung’s total dedication to color accuracy.

            I mean holy shit if you’re going to suck Samsung’s cock like that you’d better be getting paid to do it.

            • >I mean holy shit if you’re going to suck Samsung’s cock like that you’d better be getting paid to do it.

              >Compared to other phones such as Sony and HTC… no one comes close to latest Samsung’s total dedication to color accuracy.

              You have no counter to my facts other than invoking image(s) of gays going gay things.

              It’s the simple truth & fact that… as of right now… _NO_ONE_ comes close to matching Samsung’s dedication delivering true color accuracy.

              Again, here are the facts and the measurements that matter to videophiles and those seeking ultimate reference quality display

              -Ideal color temperature (in degrees): 6500K
              D65 with 6,500 K is the standard color of White for most Consumer Content and needed for accurate color reproduction of all images.

              -Ideal color gamut: 100% sRGB
              sRGB / Rec.709 is the color standard for most content and needed for accurate color reproduction. Most Professional Camera Modes use Adobe RGB. Note that Too Large a Color Gamut can be visually worse than Too Small.

              -Ideal Gamma for the Intensity Scale: 2.20
              Gamma is the log slope of the Intensity Scale. Gamma of 2.20 is the standard and needed for accurate Image Contrast and Color reproduction.

              Samsung S5 and Note 3 passes all the above in “Professional Photo” and “Cinema” mode with flying colors.

              I’ll make it simple for those who don’t know what I’m talking about:

              1. If you want to enjoy the scenery of “Non Non Biyori” in color as seen by animators on their reference monitors…
              2. If you want anime colors to really “pop” out like in “No Game No Life” but without making your eyes bleed…
              3. If you want to enjoy & watch reference quality presentation of a film that matches calibrated reference monitors used in Hollywood…

              Getting the S5 or Note 3 and future Note 4 should be a no-brainer.
              It’s a perfect general-purpose device for anime fans on-the-go like you and me.

              • I’m not countering you with facts because I don’t give a shit. It may well be that Samsung has the greatest screen known to mankind. I don’t care. That isn’t even vaguely relevant to my point. My point is that you are doing your absolutely hardest to sound like a shill with the floweriest marketing bullshit I’ve ever seen. No one cares this much about a phone unless they’re getting paid for it, no one. You sound like a walking advertisement. Maybe you’re not, but it’s that or you’re on something, as previously mentioned.

                Also, when did I mention gays? Are gay people the only ones who can suck cock? Apologize to all the fine women out there who enjoy a blowjob or two.

                • >I don’t give a shit…
                  >No one cares this much…

                  With this kind of attitude you should’ve not responded, mind your business and go on with your dreary life watching webstream anime from some offshore site (assuming you can’t even afford crunchyroll)

                  • Your English comprehension is worse than I imagined. Context would inform you that I don’t care about a phone screen. My comments have been focused solely on you, despite your attempts to stay “on message” up until this trainwreck of a post. And while I guess I can’t say I particularly care about you either, I’ve found harassing your ridiculous posts to be somewhat enjoyable.

                    And I though fail to see the relevance, I neither watch webstreams nor Crunchyroll (both are pretty terrible). I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but the point of this site is to review fansubs. Most of the people here are likely to be getting their anime through torrents or XDCC.

                    I would quit while you’re…well, not really ahead, but I guess that’s the phrase. You’re not going to convince anyone that you can so much as wipe your own ass at this point.

                    • >I don’t care about a phone screen

                      Confirmed shit taste.

                      With that kind of mentality, you’re better off just getting a Chinese knockoff (your mentality will meet with Chinese knockoff makers/retailers, in a form of money, where they’ll gladly take shortcuts to produce inferior copy in order to rake in good margins)… or a dumbphone.

                      Those of us like darksage who can afford real premium tier-1 smartphones might as well seek finer things now that smartphones is a mature market; where things that you think are small and trivial like “display profile” now matter more than ever. To us as screen that does not offer custom display profile or one that is poorly calibrated in a (non-QC) factory is a deal breaker.

                      >I’ve found harassing your ridiculous posts to be somewhat enjoyable.

                      Confirmed shit posting.

                      You’ve contributed nothing but shitposting while I gave out tips on darksage guy on how to improve his GS5 display quality… and why he should be glad that his GS5 display is near that of reference monitors, and why his phone is head & shoulders ahead of its peers in that respect, complete with facts and reputable 3rd party benchmarker to back it up.

                    • …Once again, your grasp of the English language is hilariously lacking. I don’t care about how good the screen on your precious Samsung is because I don’t have a smartphone, nor would I have any desire to watch anime on one if I did. Why would I watch anything on a phone when my computer can do a better job?

                      And yes, I’m shitposting, but better to be a shitposter than a shit poster. And dare I say my shitposts bring more value to the discussion than your mindless drivel. I strive to be at least mildly entertaining (though to be honest it’s not really my forte), whereas you’re just here to scream from the rooftops how great this screen is, complete with a bunch of meaningless specs and claims no one cares about.

              • unless they include color profiles in the movie files you can’t say “as seen by animators on their reference monitors”. and afaik neither .mkv nor .mp4 includes color profile data, maybe beside the gamma

                  • That shows nothing about gamma profiles or color profiles. You realize that fansubs are encoded from already-lossy sources, right? Transport streams aren’t going to contain color/gamma profiles. (or at least the ones fansubs work with. I say this as a fansubber and also as one who worked on that very release you just linked.) Also, uh, there is no way in hell there is any video player on android (or even iOS) that can give perfect playback of (advanced) subsubbed ASS typesetting? I’ve tried MX player on Android and both nplayer and hd video player on iOS. On Android (MX Player) I don’t even know how to explain what it did to the tsing, but it didn’t look like it was supposed to, though this was about a year ago (but even if you say “you said that was a year ago, see my next point) and on an older phone (though overclocked to 1.8Ghz.) Both nplayer and hd video player failed to render my clipping correctly on a sign in coppelion. No fansubber is going to recommend watching their releases on a cell phone. Just about every fansubber will recommend watching their release with CCCP and D_S only reviews what the general audience will be watching from to ensure things work/look right. I swear this is like blatant advertising for Samsung.

                • >unless they include color profiles in the movie files you can’t say “as seen by animators on their reference monitors.

                  Here it is:

                  [Eveyuu] No Game No Life – 01 [Hi10P 1280×720 H264][BE552C9F].mkv

                  Matrix coefficients: BT.709

                  The above “BT.709” should tell you that the color profile is HD-standard compliant. All serious content makers… from Hollywood to Anime… must adhere to BT 709 color space… along with 2.2 gamma and 6500 Kelvin white balance.

                  I work with Paramount Studios (accounting department)
                  I’ve talked with those on the “frontlines” (anyone who shoots or edits movies) during off-hours, and I can assure you that when shooting or editing a movie or tv show their monitors have to be absolutely preset and constantly calibrated in:

                  1. BT. 709 color space
                  2. 2.20 gamma
                  3. 6500 kelvin whites

                  • You know some fansub encoders fuck with colors to make them appear better, right? (I believe because the station fucks them so they try to fix it.) Fansubbers don’t have access to the lossless copy that the animators create in the first place. All we have are shitty lossy transport streams that vary in quality due to the stations giving varying amounts of bitrate and the capper’s antenna(connection?) quality(strength?) Also, I’ve seen iTunes fuck with the color in their My Little Pony releases. Black levels and I think even white levels were off. Some people made gamma profiles to fix it, from what I saw.

                    • So apparently strength of signal doesn’t affect quality of transport stream, according to my friend. Also, he said most stuff aired on HDTV has correct colors. TIL.

          • >are you high


            >alternately, are hollywood reference monitors shit?

            Here are some High Definition reference monitors used in Hollywood just to give you an idea…


            … and the 1920×1080 resolution S5 and Note 3 in set in “Professional Photo” and “Cinema” mode is as very close you can get to the monitors mentioned above.

            • The fuck is going on here.


              >Watching animes on your phone.

              Fuck you kids, I’m too old for this shit.

              *Flips table, exits room*


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